Ooh, I didn't notice those mistakes! Thanks for pointing them out!
"Sometimes Finnegan reminisces, but his broken, twisted fingers gets entangled..." - Just not sure about this sentence. You say that sometimes he reminisces but then move on to the current situation. Maybe you could change it to something like "but *then* his broken..." ? Just a thought.
It's more like the pain distracts him, so I'll need to find a way to express it better.
Sorry it's not quite up your alley, but I suppose it reflects my mood these days. ^^
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Date: 2007-03-13 04:10 pm (UTC)"Sometimes Finnegan reminisces, but his broken, twisted fingers gets entangled..." - Just not sure about this sentence. You say that sometimes he reminisces but then move on to the current situation. Maybe you could change it to something like "but *then* his broken..." ? Just a thought.
It's more like the pain distracts him, so I'll need to find a way to express it better.
Sorry it's not quite up your alley, but I suppose it reflects my mood these days. ^^